Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we go through, and when that loved one was a spouse or partner, it can be even more difficult to cope with the grief and find ways to go on. For seniors who are dealing with the loss of a spouse and all the changes that come with it, life can quickly become overwhelming. Depression, sadness, and even substance abuse can come with that loss, and unfortunately, all of those things together easily exacerbate one another.
If you have a loved one who is dealing with a major loss, it’s important to understand the symptoms and warning signs of depression and substance abuse so that you’ll be better able to help. Even if there are no outward signs of those symptoms right away, they can still occur down the road because grief has no expiration date.
Here are some helpful tips on how to support a senior loved one after the loss of a spouse.
Get some support
Many people want to be left alone after the death of a spouse, but it’s important to have some sort of support during this difficult time. If your loved one insists on being left alone, give him space — but not too much. Let him know you’re there for him, and make a list of support resources that he can turn to when he’s ready, such as a counselor, therapist, or local grief support group.
Do some research
It’s important to do some research on the side effects of grief, which can include depression, behavioral changes, sadness, and substance abuse. The symptoms of these side effects are similar: changes in sleeping or eating habits, sudden mood swings, isolation from friends and family, a decline in physical health and hygiene, and an inability to cope with everyday life. If your loved one is having trouble in any of these areas, he may be suffering from depression and/or substance abuse.
Generally, these two conditions make one another worse, as substance abuse gives the illusion that it’s helping by numbing the emotional pain that comes with grief. However, in the long run, it only makes things worse, because it’s a temporary solution that comes with its own set of problems.
Help him practice self-care
Living with grief can take a huge toll on our emotional and physical health, so help your loved one cope with his feelings by encouraging him to practice self-care. This can include anything that makes him feel happy and relaxed in a healthy way, such as spending time with grandchildren, enjoying a hobby such as gardening or playing a sport, or engaging in a creative endeavor, such as painting or photography.
Refrain from making big changes
After such a major loss, it’s best for your loved one to avoid major changes in his life right away. This can include moving to a new home, taking on a new job, or engaging in anything that can cause stress. Help your loved one stay calm and in his element, make sure he’s comfortable, and don’t rush him to “get over” his loss. The grieving process can take months or even years, and it’s important to let it run its course. Remember that your loved one will have a lot to worry about during this time, so if you can find ways to help out around the house — doing dishes or laundry, cleaning up, or mowing the lawn, for example — he will be able to focus on moving through the process in a healthy and productive way.
It can be a difficult undertaking trying to help a senior loved one cope with the loss of a spouse. But by offering yourself as measure of support, helping him monitor self-care, and helping him put off other major life changes, you can make a difference as your loved one works through their grief.
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