Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we go through, and when that loved one was a spouse or partner, it can be even more difficult to cope with the grief and find ways to go on. For seniors who are dealing with the loss of a spouse and all the changes that come with it, life can quickly become overwhelming. Depression, sadness, and even substance abuse can come with that loss, and unfortunately, all of those things together easily exacerbate one another.

If you have a loved one who is dealing with a major loss, it’s important to understand the symptoms and warning signs of depression and substance abuse so that you’ll be better able to help. Even if there are no outward signs of those symptoms right away, they can still occur down the road because grief has no expiration date.

Here are some helpful tips on how to support a senior loved one after the loss of a spouse.

Get some support

Many people want to be left alone after the death of a spouse, but it’s important to have some sort of support during this difficult time. If your loved one insists on being left alone, give him space — but not too much. Let him know you’re there for him, and make a list of support resources that he can turn to when he’s ready, such as a counselor, therapist, or local grief support group.

Do some research

It’s important to do some research on the side effects of grief, which can include depression, behavioral changes, sadness, and substance abuse. The symptoms of these side effects are similar: changes in sleeping or eating habits, sudden mood swings, isolation from friends and family, a decline in physical health and hygiene, and an inability to cope with everyday life. If your loved one is having trouble in any of these areas, he may be suffering from depression and/or substance abuse.

Generally, these two conditions make one another worse, as substance abuse gives the illusion that it’s helping by numbing the emotional pain that comes with grief. However, in the long run, it only makes things worse, because it’s a temporary solution that comes with its own set of problems.

Help him practice self-care

Living with grief can take a huge toll on our emotional and physical health, so help your loved one cope with his feelings by encouraging him to practice self-care. This can include anything that makes him feel happy and relaxed in a healthy way, such as spending time with grandchildren, enjoying a hobby such as gardening or playing a sport, or engaging in a creative endeavor, such as painting or photography.

Refrain from making big changes

After such a major loss, it’s best for your loved one to avoid major changes in his life right away. This can include moving to a new home, taking on a new job, or engaging in anything that can cause stress. Help your loved one stay calm and in his element, make sure he’s comfortable, and don’t rush him to “get over” his loss. The grieving process can take months or even years, and it’s important to let it run its course. Remember that your loved one will have a lot to worry about during this time, so if you can find ways to help out around the house  — doing dishes or laundry, cleaning up, or mowing the lawn, for example — he will be able to focus on moving through the process in a healthy and productive way.

It can be a difficult undertaking trying to help a senior loved one cope with the loss of a spouse. But by offering yourself as measure of support, helping him monitor self-care, and helping him put off other major life changes, you can make a difference as your loved one works through their grief.

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When a loved one dies, it’s expected that we will be there for the rest of our friends and family so that we can grieve together. Unfortunately, for small business owners, that isn’t always possible. As much as you want to ease the pain of loss, you have to keep living.

Grieving Together from Afar

When you want to pay your respects but can’t break away from your business, consider sending something more valuable than flowers or potted plants. Those closest to the deceased will be busy planning the funeral and adjusting to a new life, but you can take some of the strain off of your surviving loved ones by providing a monthly meal kit service or offering to help make arrangements. Another alternative is to gift cleaning services for the first couple months after the death.

Stay in touch with your loved ones as you all heal in your own ways. Keep in mind that while an occasional text message may be appreciated, the most sincere form of communication from a distance is to simply pick up the phone. Technology has made it easier to talk face to face in times of crisis. Android Authority recently rated the best video calling apps, and Amazon’s Alexa-based Show now offers hands-free voice calling to other device owners.

Neglecting Self-Care Is Not an Option

Helping your loved ones through grief is one way to alleviate your own pain. But you must also learn to manage your self-care needs while you run your business and navigate your own emotions. Reach out to the same people you have supported for a listening ear and friendly voice when you need to talk. Continue to go to bed at your normal time and get enough rest so your body and mind are refreshed and able to focus on your daily tasks. Author Marian Schembari explains how she continued to run a business with depression, which is a common side effect of losing a loved one, especially when compounded with the guilt of not being there.

Another major component of your self-care routine should be to accept and acknowledge your feelings each day. You must also learn to be patient with yourself and pay attention to your physical needs. North Dakota’s Hospice Red River Valley explains that you should also be able and willing to accept help from others, whether it be family, friends, or a professional therapist. Remember, you are not alone in your grief.

Practical Matters

When you own your own business, this means you must carry on in your professional endeavors, regardless of your personal turmoil. Learn to prioritize and take care of pressing matters first thing in the morning before you’re worn down physically and emotionally. Your other obligations won’t seem as intimidating if you take care of your most important tasks right off the bat. It’s hard to carry on, but you must continue to support yourself and your family.

Money matters may also be a concern while you’re fighting your way through grief, so take the time to prioritize your budget. If you have employees, think about who could get a promotion and take on more responsibility. Consider seeking the guidance of a business coach, too, who could guide you on keeping your business afloat until you regain your footing and are able to focus again.

Grieving is hard enough without having to feel guilty about your obligations and responsibilities. Rest easy knowing that your loved one would not want you to put yourself and your family in financial jeopardy, and keep an open line of communication with your support network. This, combined with adequate self-care and smart business choices, will help you manage both your professional needs and personal healing without sacrificing either.

Image: Pixabay